Some Words

I don't know what to put as the title of this blog post. Quite honestly I want to say so much but I don't know if I can find the words.

As we shared yesterday, we lost our drummer, producer and most importantly, brother over the last weekend. We had no idea until his family told us on Monday morning. I'm not going to go into the circumstances of Tom's death, because that isn't my place.

Tom was a pain in my arse for the last three or so years I'd known him. But he was OUR pain in the arse. He had a smile that could light up any room, and the kind of "fun-first" mentality that we could use more of in the world. He was an insanely talented musician and producer, but most of all he was our friend.

People assume that being in a band is turning up to a gig every now and again, playing a few songs and then getting back in the car. It was never like that for us: the food before a show, the beer afterwards, the long drives to and from places we never expected to be able to play. The roar of a crowd, the awkward applause of an empty venue. That "eureka moment" of finishing a song, and constantly wanting to better it with each subsequent writing session.

We shared all of the above with Tom, and so much more. Matters of the heart, battling personal demons, mental health issues and more, Tom was someone with whom no conversation topic was off the table.

Tom leaves a hole in the project that can never be filled. His love for life, his South Park impressions, his amazing ability to prank us at every turn. I think we're all hoping that he's waiting for his chance to shout "gotcha!". Through all his personal trials and tribulations, he took on baggage that wasn't his. He lifted our spirits and he held us up.

I'm sorry I never got the chance to thank you for that, big dog. I hope one day I'll get that chance. Until then, singing the songs we wrote together at your final goodbye is the only thanks I can give - I just hope I make you proud.

All my love.