On Love

Hi everyone, FINALLY we've got a bit of rain in Southend! Put the kettle on and listen close...

I have loved many times. I guess this makes me lucky - you don't propose to someone without genuinely expecting to spend your life with them. You don't move in with someone expecting to be moving out alone.

Circumstances change, times change, and people change.

In July last year, I met someone on Tinder. We chatted for a while, and then I asked her in my own blunt and stupid way "whats the catch?" while I was on a night out.

"What do you mean?"

"How can you still be single?"

We spoke on the phone shortly after, and I'd never heard Frankie's voice before. Nervously, she answered. I'm so glad that she did. In that car park in Chelmsford, I fell in love.

I am  hard impossible to love. I'm irritating when i'm happy, and i'm constantly unsure of myself when I'm not. I'm impulsive and more than a little demanding. I make stupid mistakes and try to make even stupider excuses because of them. I hate admitting i'm wrong on some days, and on others i'm wildly apologetic. Through all of this, I am thankful for Frankie every single day.

On our lowest days we bring each other up. On our highest we keep each other grounded. When we're both at opposite ends of the spectrum we know when to give each other breathing space.

In recent times, she has been my shoulder to lean and cry on. When Tom passed, she was there - her family too - with fish and chips and Family Guy. When my Uncle Brian passed, she came to the funeral with me, helping me breathe through the tears. She reads every blog post the day they go live, even reading my work for other outlets - no matter how nerdy they are.

Our weeks are not exciting by most people's standards - Frankie's work location and my working pattern means that we only really see each other at weekends. We go for walks, occasionally go for food and spend most of our time in the flat that hopefully she'll call home one day. It may not sound much, but the weekends on the sofa with a cup of coffee, a bag of popcorn and Loki are my favourite thing in life.

People always talk about their "dream partner" as hypothetical - hair colour, eye colour, interests. Somehow, Tinder found mine for me - a gorgeous woman with brains and the biggest heart of anyone i've known. A love for memes and animated comedies that quite honestly puts me to shame, and a lot of overlap with my own music tastes.

Remember when I said things change? For the first time in my life, I don't want them to. Hug the person you love today and tell them how much they mean to you. Good things rarely last forever, but I hold out hope that this will.


Now Playing: Agnes Obel - September Song